Last week a nasty virus took over my body for much longer that acceptable...and then it rocked my emotional and mental stability.
Turns out that my dad, manfriend, aunt, grandmother, 2 bridesmaids, brother, and sister-in-law all experienced the rage of the same infectious, viral plague. Must have all picked it up at the wedding extravaganza.
After nearly 3 days of 100+ fevers, body aches and tummy troubles, I headed back to work feeling rather faint.
And then came the doldrums.
It's like, I couldn't get out of the funk.
I went from spending a glorious weekend with my family and close friends to being at least 12 hours away from a blood relative and/or bestie, feeling like I was going to die, and then returning to work and the ever-increasing realization that I loathe my current career/job/position....
I wanted to sleep and not wake up for a few days. I wanted to jet home to the safety of my mom and puppies. I wanted to quite my job and run away to Europe. I wanted to take a 3 hours lunch break and attempt to fill this growing hole in my chest with cute clothes or cake.
Mostly, I wanted to cry. And cry. And cry.
But, I did not.
I am still not completely out of my funk.
I still feel like I am screaming on the inside and floating through the motions of daily life.
I still want to climb in the bed and hide....but I won't.
Why am I telling y'all all of this? I am not sure. Maybe because sometimes it is nice to know that other people have the same thoughts, issues, moments of darkness....Maybe I am just trying to be honest with myself and the virtual friends that I have met and shared parts of my life with. And doesn't this part of my life warrant a chapter in the
book blog? Maybe I am secretly wanting y'all to say that you too feel this way and that I am just "normal." But then I hear the voice of my mother saying "Normal is a setting on a dryer Sarah."
If I am missing for a few days, I just need a little break from a few things....and start to gather my swords and fight back this feeling.
Time to be proactive because after all,