Confessions of a Product Junkie

Do I have a prize for y'all or what! 

We are going to be trying something a little special and new on Wednesdays.

My friend Erin is obsessed with products and sister knows her stuff. She has given me more freebees than you could imagine. 

I tried to convince Erin to start her own blog but she responded "baby steps."

So we are going to have her visit us here (hopefully weekly) and give us the scoop on what she is using.

Welcome Erin!!

A couple of weeks ago I went to Sephora. I had been trying out a new skincare line, and while I’m

usually the type to see the bottle through even if I’m not digging the results, I was fed up with the way

my skin was looking, so halfway through the new bottle I abandoned hope and decided to revert to my

tried and true favorites (more on these at a later date).

As I was checking out, I was asked if I had a Beauty Insider card. “Ohhh yeahhh,” I responded, and

handed over that well-worn piece of black plastic. One scan of the barcode and the whole store was

magically transformed- streamers bursting from the ceiling, confetti shooting out from behind the

perfume aisles, the entire hair care section turned into one massive speaker blaring Sexyback (please

release another album asap J. Timberlake), and a throne so grand Queen Nicky Minaj herself would be

envious appeared beneath me. “Well he-llo,” the checkout lady said, “so good to see you.”

My name is Erin, and I am a Product Junkie.

Five minutes later I was walking out of the store, but not before racking up on this:

. . . in freebies. Yes, you read right. Free. No charge. Gratis. And yes- you’re totally on the right track

with your thoughts right now- “how much shit does this chick actually pay for if she’s getting all this for

free??” Which is precisely the thought that was going through Sarah’s mind as she perused the above

freebies in person, and then suggested I put my product addiction to good use and write some reviews

for you lovely people.

So reviews you will get, and I promise to be honest, objective, and hopefully delightfully humorous in my

commentary. And in case you were wondering who I am and if you should even continue reading this

diatribe, I’ve actually made a couple cameo appearances on this here blog.

This is me rafting down the river with Senorita Sarah this summer- no makeup, braided hair to try and

control the curly frizz, and after a little over an hour in the sun, nice and red faced.

This is me out dancing- complete with a straightening iron, spray tan, and eyeliner. See? I clean up

decently.

Both of these pics lead me to 

Successful Product Shopping Tip #1:  Consider the source when reading reviews. 

If you look nothing like me and already have perfect, tan, poreless skin, Sofia Vergara hair, and no imperfections whatsoever, this ain’t the blog post for you.  This point can also be applied when reading reviews on sephora.com (which I highly recommend as my experience has told me that most of the people who work at Sephora are clueless product pushers) – if you’re reading a review about an anti-wrinkle cream and the reviewer is 15 years old, chances are she’s not exactly the target audience for said anti-wrinkle cream.

Successful Product Shopping Tip #2: Give products at least 30 days before issuing judgment. 

I’ve got a face moisturizer that smells like cheap sushi, but let me tell you, it works like magic.  I’ve also tried products that are amazing at first, and yet over time my skin starts to look worse.  Always make a valiant attempt at finishing the entire bottle- you might be surprised at the products that ultimately win and lose.

Successful Product Shopping Tip #3: Sephora will make you samples of anything- take advantage of this. 

After purchasing six bottles of perfume that I ended up hating after I wore it around for a few hours, I finally learned that no matter how too-cool-for-school the 17-year-old Sephora sales girl is, or how much she stares at the fact that you’re wearing boat shoes and weigh 50 pounds more than her, it’s not worth throwing away $75 just because you were too afraid to ask for a sample.  Also- you are under NO obligation to buy a single thing in exchange for your samples.  So when you get the evil eye for doing so, just give them the “I have a real job and you’re hawking eye shadow for minimum wage loser” glare, and they’ll shut right up.

Successful Product Shopping Tip #4: Shop on the weeknights.  

I generally apply this principle to all types of shopping, but it’s especially helpful when it comes to beauty purchases, as anyone who has entered a Sephora on a Saturday afternoon can attest . . . it’s a Turkish bath nightmare.  Hot, crowded, and a hazy fog of weird, at one point might have been perfume smells wafting through the air that will literally make you gag.  Which I have totally done in the middle of a Sephora store. Yep.

Successful Product Shopping Tip #5: Once you find the product of your dreams, quit searching.

He was great- tall, tan, smart, respectful, funny, and all that jazz.  But the way he chewed his food was a bit odd.  And was consistently running 10 minutes late to everything.  It just wasn’t meant to be.  Oh wait? We’re talking mascara? Not boys?  Bottom line: if something works, quit wondering if something else might work better.  It has taken me wayyyyy too many purchase regrets to come to this realization.  The only time you need to go searching for a new product is when one of your favorites gets cancelled and you never got the chance to hoard and buy an entire box of it before it was discontinued.  And yes- you’re absolutely permitted to cry when this happens.  And if you could offer me any advice on how to actually believe the boy part of this statement and not just talk about it, I’d greatly appreciate it. J

So, to the 2 people out there still reading this, I don’t claim to be an expert.  I’m just a junkie, with a deep and abiding addition to all things bottled and beautiful, and these are my confessions.  (Cue Usher.)

Erin is her name,

Products are her game, 

Houston is her hood,

You know it's all good!

Thanks Erin!

Tonight I'll be drinking wine on her couch while watching Revenge and smearing on a new eye cream for her next post. 

Happy Hump Day