Thursday, March 10, 2011

Help! I've Fallen

So, I've fallen off the wagon.

After shedding some major lbs with the help of weight watchers and a good deal of fitness, I have hit a wall. Have fallen off the wagon. Have been on hiatus (for 3 weeks).

Why does this happen? Where does all the motivation go?
You have to know what I am talking about.....

Four months ago I was "get that fatty cookie away from my face." Today I was all "I'd like a large cookies n cream milkshake. I'm sorry...did you ask if I wanted the whip cream and cherry? DUH. Why do you think I am ordering a milkshake at lunch? To forgo the toppings? Just give me my total and let me leave so you can judge me as I drive off gulping my delicious, anxiety inducing treat!"

One would think that the looming swimsuit season would scare me into starvation.
False. Doesn't scare me....Bring on the swim skirt sister! I'm going back for seconds!

But seriously, where does the willpower go? What happened to my routine?

All of these questions have left my buttery popcorn fingers typing "weigh loss cleanse" into google while praying for some super secret genie potion  to promise 10lbs weight loss for a mere $5.99....overnight of course. But I know better...or do I?

Ever heard of a little something called the "Master Cleanse," and known as the "Lemonade diet?"
Beyonce used it to loose weight for her role in dreamgirls.
Looks like it worked pretty well huh.

Now, I'm no dummy. I don't expect 20lbs gone in 10 days. Nor do I believe that I can go 10 days without solid food. Manfriend would no doubt break up with me, only after committing me to the ward for psycho, food deprived behavior.

But, who is against a fresh start? Nothing like a good cleanse to get the ball rolling again right?
And what's wrong with the other benefits.....increased focus (on how hungry you are), brightened mood (yea, we will see), cut back on sleep (bc your running to the potty all night), reclaim your youthful get the picture.

Here is what I will need:
Grade B Maple Syrup
Organic lemon juice (or juice of fresh lemons)
Cayenne pepper
Non-iodized salt
Purified Water
Herbal Tea with Senna

Everyone I have talked to that has tried this only lasted a few days, reported major weight loss, and said that the drink kind of taste like spicy lemonade....Doesn't sound terrible...'

So? Are you ready to call my mom and schedule an intervention?
Or are you heading to Whole Foods?

Man, Rochelle (ww leader) is not going to like this post!


Cat @PerpetualPerfection said...

Oh girl, right there with you. I need motivation for just life in general. Senioritis has hit. Look forward to more ranting posts soon! I laughed out loud when you were talking about your shake.

My Crafty Home-Life said...

Hi! I found you on "blogging now". My husband lost 65lbs on WW, 7 years ago. Every now and then he puts back some. Now, it's about 10 to lose. KEEP with works! Just remember, "this is not beyond your ability". Your blog is fun, I'll check back.....